04/10/15 - Finally, the day had come for my last round of tests...FOR NOW! Make no mistake, I'm well aware I'm most likely in for a lifetime of tests even if I manage to defeat the "alien" growing in my leg! But it's nice to know the tests are done for now...well...hopefully anyway! :)
So, this last one was a CT-scan of my chest & abdomen, in which I was required to fast for six hours before but drink a boatload of water within the 12 hour period prior! Initially, I mistakenly thought this was to fill my bladder, since upon my arrival, they gave me yet even MORE water to drink over...you guessed it...ANOTHER WAITING PERIOD! :p This time it was two hours & 1.5L of water! You can imagine my joy when I was informed it WAS okay to pee, as the water wasn't to fill my bladder but rather to make my insides glow, in conjunction with a second dye that would be injected by IV during the scan itself. Speaking of which, it was that extra special feels-like-you're-peeing-yourself-having-a-heart-attack-while-having-a-thousand-hot-flashes dye again, like that I experienced during my CT-guided biopsy! And there was more breath-holding, too, except this time on the inhale, and again talking machines. I like talking machines. :) Again, only pain involved was the IV - oh, and the tech who couldn't be bothered to HOLD THE DOOR for me as it SLAMMED into my arm that had the IV in it, missing the IV by just centimetres! Needless to say, I gave them an earful about that! I even explained to the guy I had a visual impairment, but he clearly didn't understand what that meant. Note to self, "Use your white cane ALL the tie at the hospitals, even when the area is flat & well lit for this very reason!" Don't need any more close encounters between heavy doors & my IV!!!
Anyway, this was the shortest of all the tests so far, only taking about 15-20 minutes once the two-hour waiting period was over. And again, this test in conjunction with the tests from yesterday, is to see if the cancer has spread, as this type of sarcoma has been known to jump over into the lungs in some cases. It's also a relatively rare cancer. Geez, when I got my Placebo-inspired "One Of A Kind" tattoo a week ago, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind! Leave it to me to get some kind of rare cancer that hardly anyone else gets, pppphhht!
On a happy note, while I was playing the waiting game yet again, I finally managed to reach my case worker for my short-term income claim, and it sounds like I shouldn't have any issues with it, which was a huge relief. She mentioned something about cancer requiring chemo/radiation therapy being automatic-claims, which I assume means it'd be automatically approved. I just hope the delays with the followup consultation & start of chemo/radiation aren't going to be an issue, since I've already missed four days of work this week. If I went back to work now, I'd have to start the required three-day waiting period all over again UNPAID before I could claim short-term income protection again! So, needless to say, although I'll have a week of waiting with no tests - hallelujah, NO TESTS!!! - I'm not going back to work. I did mention, though, that I haven't been sleeping well, forgot to eat supper one night & am worried about losing my temper with a customer due to the lack of sleep & stress that I'm under, so hopefully they'll be understanding & not penalize me for not returning to work while awaiting the next steps. I should know by the end of next week if there are any hiccups. She seems understanding, though, so hopefully all goes smoothly. Meanwhile, I'm going to take a much needed break from all this & enjoy myself this weekend with some very good friends. As they say, laughter is the best medicine, so I plan on stocking up big time!
On that note, I'm off for a much needed sleep. For the first time since getting my diagnosis on Tuesday, I feel like I might be able to get a good night's sleep...finally. I think all the time I spent with friends today has a lot to do with it, so to them, I say THANK YOU! You know who you are. :)
*[NOTE: Post title inspired by a line from Placebo's song "Post Blue" from their "Meds" album, another one of my all-time favourite albums & songs.]
Saturday, 11 April 2015
A Song to Say Goodbye...for Now - Going on Medical Leave.
04/09/15 - After rising at the crack of dawn for yet more tests, I finally made it into work to pick up a few things, drop stuff off, submit some unrelated insurance forms, and say my bye-for-nows.
Items I picked up included photos of my dogs which I plan to take to hospital with me, as well as some of the awards I have one over the years. While that might sound like I am giving up, far from it. But as a realist, I am a planner and so I have to prepare for the possibility that I may not be back and wanted to ensure my family would have my awards if that is the case. As I made the rounds to various colleagues, it really started to hit home that it could be a long time before I returned. Things were starting to get real and fast. I'm not sure who was holding back tears more, them or me. It was a sad day.
As for the tests, this latest batch included a bone scan of my entire body and a CT-scan of my thighs & backside. Both scans were done in an effort to determine whether or not the cancer has spread to my bones. First, they injected me with radioactive dye, which needed nearly three hours to set into my system. So back into the waiting room I went! Once again, it was a good thing I came prepared with my own entertainment! I can not stress this enough to anyone about to embark on the same journey! You're going to be going through lots of tests & lots of waiting, waiting & more waiting. Waiting in rooms, waiting for rides, waiting for result, waiting for dye, etc.... So, bring a book, bring a smart phone, bring a tablet, etc. While waiting, the receptionist was also kind enough to fax my short-term income protection application forms through, so at least that was one item crossed off the day's to-do list. :)
Once the dye had been absorbed by my system, I was brought into a room with a special nuclear camera rotating around me that was able to see the dye inside me while taking images of the bones throughout my body. It was done in stages, including my head, chest, abdomen, legs, etc. As they scanned my chest, I had to hold my breath NOT in the inhale but on the exhale, which sounds worse than it actually was. :) The machine actually talks to you, telling you when to breathe, when to hold, when to exhale & so on. Other than that, the test was totally painless - apart fro the injection needle. In fact, I even dozed off a few times despite having both my feet & arms bound, so that I could fit in the machine without limbs getting in the way! Who would've thought a bone scan would involve bondage, LOL!!! ;) Kidding aside, it took longer for the dye to set in than it did for the tests themselves, which only took an hour as opposed to the three hours for the dye! Afterwards, they did a quick CT-scan of my leg & backside, which involved me sitting on a special bench that was a camera. Again, no pain whatsoever. These were probably the two easiest tests of all the tests I've been through, and as always, the staff were excellent in describing what to expect.
Once the dye had been absorbed by my system, I was brought into a room with a special nuclear camera rotating around me that was able to see the dye inside me while taking images of the bones throughout my body. It was done in stages, including my head, chest, abdomen, legs, etc. As they scanned my chest, I had to hold my breath NOT in the inhale but on the exhale, which sounds worse than it actually was. :) The machine actually talks to you, telling you when to breathe, when to hold, when to exhale & so on. Other than that, the test was totally painless - apart fro the injection needle. In fact, I even dozed off a few times despite having both my feet & arms bound, so that I could fit in the machine without limbs getting in the way! Who would've thought a bone scan would involve bondage, LOL!!! ;) Kidding aside, it took longer for the dye to set in than it did for the tests themselves, which only took an hour as opposed to the three hours for the dye! Afterwards, they did a quick CT-scan of my leg & backside, which involved me sitting on a special bench that was a camera. Again, no pain whatsoever. These were probably the two easiest tests of all the tests I've been through, and as always, the staff were excellent in describing what to expect.
And finally, the call I'd been waiting for came through with news they were able to schedule my last batch of tests for the next day.. As for getting the results, this may have to wait as the clinic is very full. Still crossing my fingers that I might get lucky and be able to get in this coming Monday. If not, then it'll be the following week, as they only hold this particular cancer clinic on Mondays. Ahh, the never-ending waiting! Good thing I'm a patient person most of the time!
*[NOTE: The title of this post was inspired by the Placebo song "Song to Say Goodbye" off their 2006 album, "Meds".]
*[NOTE: The title of this post was inspired by the Placebo song "Song to Say Goodbye" off their 2006 album, "Meds".]
Friday, 10 April 2015
"Devil in the Details" - Health Insurance & That Good Ol' Fine Print.
04/08/15 - So, what does one do the day after being diagnosed with cancer? While I can't speak for anyone else, I can sure tell you what I did! Needing to *do* something...anything to keep busy & stay productive, I dove right into my sea of insurance providers, spending the equivalent of more than an entire work shift digging into all my various insurances - mortgage, credit line, critical illness & short-term income protection! Between calling around every number under the sun to filling out what seemed like countless pages of claim forms, I started just after 8am (right after calling into work) & finally had enough around 4:30pm! Thankfully, I'd already compiled a list before leaving on my trip, so at least that was ready & waiting at my fingertips. I recommend everyone do the same, regardless of whether or not you currently have health issues, because it'll make life a lot easier for your loved ones, should something ever happen to you & they need to make a claim either for you or themselves.
What I discovered sure was an eye opener! Queue in that "Devil in the Details"! Now, we all know insurance companies have restrictions & exclusions, right? Well, did you know that credit insurance providers have a list of cancers they will NOT cover?!?! I sure didn't, though I can't say I'm really all that surprised. Annoyed, yes, but surprised? No! Ironically, I actually hope I am not covered, because in my case, being covered will mean that my cancer has spread, while being declined will mean that it hasn't and, of course, a much better prognosis on my part! So, while It'd be amazing to be mortgage free, I can think of better ways to do it, thank you very much! :)
Still, while the restrictions & exclusions are disappointing, the super logical part of me actually understands where they're coming from. With the high rates of cancer, they'd either go bankrupt or have to charge even higher premiums if they paid out to those with non-spreading cancers. BUT... They recommended that I apply anyway, just to ensure I've covered all the bases, even if the news from this latest batch of tests turns out to be good, relatively speaking.
So, here goes nothin'! <insert cheering squad> "Come on decline! Yaaay decline!!!"...At least where the credit insurance is concerned, that is. I'm still hoping the critical illness insurance will come through, to help with costs of any drugs not covered under provincial healthcare, and there shouldn't be any issue with the short-term income protection coverage through work, thankfully. As for long-term income protection, while I do have coverage, hopefully it won't be necessary!
*EDIT (01/04/16)* It turned out that you don't have to have metastasis or be at death's door to be approved for an insurance claim. The legalese of the fine print makes it sound that way, but in the end, for me, at least, that wasn't the case! So, even if you don't think your claim will be approved, APPLY anyway! There is a time limit in most insurance policies (within 90 days of diagnosis in my case) where you have to apply, and I took so long to submit mine because I didn't think there was any point, that I nearly missed that deadline! Fortunately, for me, I submitted just in the nick of time, and it's made a very stressful situation a lot easier to cope with!
*[NOTE: Post title inspired by the Placebo song "Devil in the Details" off their "Battle for the Sun" album.]
What I discovered sure was an eye opener! Queue in that "Devil in the Details"! Now, we all know insurance companies have restrictions & exclusions, right? Well, did you know that credit insurance providers have a list of cancers they will NOT cover?!?! I sure didn't, though I can't say I'm really all that surprised. Annoyed, yes, but surprised? No! Ironically, I actually hope I am not covered, because in my case, being covered will mean that my cancer has spread, while being declined will mean that it hasn't and, of course, a much better prognosis on my part! So, while It'd be amazing to be mortgage free, I can think of better ways to do it, thank you very much! :)
Still, while the restrictions & exclusions are disappointing, the super logical part of me actually understands where they're coming from. With the high rates of cancer, they'd either go bankrupt or have to charge even higher premiums if they paid out to those with non-spreading cancers. BUT... They recommended that I apply anyway, just to ensure I've covered all the bases, even if the news from this latest batch of tests turns out to be good, relatively speaking.
So, here goes nothin'! <insert cheering squad> "Come on decline! Yaaay decline!!!"...At least where the credit insurance is concerned, that is. I'm still hoping the critical illness insurance will come through, to help with costs of any drugs not covered under provincial healthcare, and there shouldn't be any issue with the short-term income protection coverage through work, thankfully. As for long-term income protection, while I do have coverage, hopefully it won't be necessary!
*EDIT (01/04/16)* It turned out that you don't have to have metastasis or be at death's door to be approved for an insurance claim. The legalese of the fine print makes it sound that way, but in the end, for me, at least, that wasn't the case! So, even if you don't think your claim will be approved, APPLY anyway! There is a time limit in most insurance policies (within 90 days of diagnosis in my case) where you have to apply, and I took so long to submit mine because I didn't think there was any point, that I nearly missed that deadline! Fortunately, for me, I submitted just in the nick of time, and it's made a very stressful situation a lot easier to cope with!
*[NOTE: Post title inspired by the Placebo song "Devil in the Details" off their "Battle for the Sun" album.]
Tuesday, 7 April 2015
And So Begins My "Battle for the Sun"... Getting My Cancer Diagnosis.
04/07/15 - So, it's been a week since my CT-guided biopsy. Went in to the hospital today for my results. The wait felt like forever, as I arrived an hour early & the doctor was running an hour late. Fortunately, I brought entertainment in the form of Placebo's "We Come in Pieces" concert video on my iPad, that was a much needed & helpful distraction. But alas, the time finally came & into the doctor's office I went...
First, they had a medical resident intern ask me a bazillion questions about my medical history & symptoms. Then she had me get into a gown & went away for ages, only to come back, ask more questions & leave again. This wasn't looking good. Finally she came back with the doctor, and after two long months, my wait for a diagnosis was over. It wasn't good. Yep, the C word...cancer...or more technically a myxoid liposarcoma, which is a type of soft tissue sarcoma.
Needless to say, my head's been spinning ever since. Had a little mini breakdown before leaving the hospital, but relatively speaking, I'm okay. Going to start the short term disability claim process tomorrow. I was actually crazy enough to consider going int to work...to, well, work, tomorrow but no... I'd like to keep my job, and the last thing I need is to lose my temper with a customer due to stress & then lose my job & much needed benefits because of it. So, I advised my manager that I may come in to pick up a few things, get the mailroom to fax my insurance claim & talk to a few people, but that's it.
Now, of course, I have a million questions, such as what stage am I in & what are my chances of survival? This will all be determined with...you guessed it....more tests. First up is a bone scan to see if it's spread to my bones. This is already scheduled for two days from now. Second is yet another CT-scan to see if it's spread to my abdomen or lungs...still waiting for date on that one, but they're trying to push it for this week. Then, hopefully in six days if we manage to cram all the tests into this week, I'll meet with the same doctor from today who's an orthopaedic surgeon (the one who'll be removing my tumour) & another doctor whom I assume is an ecologist, for further consultation. Then, I'll undergo three days & nights of in-patient "chemo-light", for lack of a better phrase, to "sensitize" my body for 10 days of out-patient radiation therapy. *Gulp*. Not looking forward to either of those last two, but they said it's better to do those first, to have as few complications as possible. Then, I have a month break to recover, and then regardless of whether or not it's spread, surgery two months from now to remove the tumour & hopefully save my leg.
In the meantime, I've jumped into action mode, doing what I can while I can. So, tomorrow, before popping into work, I'll be calling all of my insurance companies to start THAT part of the medical roller coaster that is my life right now. C'mon insurance, don't fail me now! Crossing every appendage possible that process won't be as horrendous as I'm anticipating it to be... Here's hoping they do large-print or e-forms.
And last but certainly not least, I began the task of telling my nearest & dearest the news. As soon as the doctor told me, I immediately felt guilty, wondering if I'd done something to cause this by not eating enough fruits & vegetables. I don't know if they were humouring me, but they seemed sincere when they said "No", and that "this type of cancer can happen to anyone" & that "it's just dumb luck who gets it". Telling my mom, aunt & best friend of nearly 30 years was the hardest. Everyone else I just did a mass message on Facebook. Sorry about that, but it was hard enough having this conversation three times, let alone another 70. Hope you all understand.
I also worry about how this will effect my mom, who's already said she'll move in with me during treatment if necessary, but that's going to be so tough on her with her work being on the opposite side of town. :( And my poor best friend... She's still getting over losing her mom to cancer. That just makes me feel even worse. :( Not like there's ever a good time for this kind of thing to happen, but seriously Universe, this is not funny, not funny at all. :/
Well, that's it from me for now... I'll write more when there's either more news or after I've had the aforementioned tests... Cross your fingers for me the next bit of news will be good! I need all the positive energy I can get right now!
*[NOTE: The title of this post was inspired by, yes - you guessed it, Placebo & their album & song of the same name, "Battle for the Sun", one of my favourite albums of all time.]
First, they had a medical resident intern ask me a bazillion questions about my medical history & symptoms. Then she had me get into a gown & went away for ages, only to come back, ask more questions & leave again. This wasn't looking good. Finally she came back with the doctor, and after two long months, my wait for a diagnosis was over. It wasn't good. Yep, the C word...cancer...or more technically a myxoid liposarcoma, which is a type of soft tissue sarcoma.
Needless to say, my head's been spinning ever since. Had a little mini breakdown before leaving the hospital, but relatively speaking, I'm okay. Going to start the short term disability claim process tomorrow. I was actually crazy enough to consider going int to work...to, well, work, tomorrow but no... I'd like to keep my job, and the last thing I need is to lose my temper with a customer due to stress & then lose my job & much needed benefits because of it. So, I advised my manager that I may come in to pick up a few things, get the mailroom to fax my insurance claim & talk to a few people, but that's it.
Now, of course, I have a million questions, such as what stage am I in & what are my chances of survival? This will all be determined with...you guessed it....more tests. First up is a bone scan to see if it's spread to my bones. This is already scheduled for two days from now. Second is yet another CT-scan to see if it's spread to my abdomen or lungs...still waiting for date on that one, but they're trying to push it for this week. Then, hopefully in six days if we manage to cram all the tests into this week, I'll meet with the same doctor from today who's an orthopaedic surgeon (the one who'll be removing my tumour) & another doctor whom I assume is an ecologist, for further consultation. Then, I'll undergo three days & nights of in-patient "chemo-light", for lack of a better phrase, to "sensitize" my body for 10 days of out-patient radiation therapy. *Gulp*. Not looking forward to either of those last two, but they said it's better to do those first, to have as few complications as possible. Then, I have a month break to recover, and then regardless of whether or not it's spread, surgery two months from now to remove the tumour & hopefully save my leg.
In the meantime, I've jumped into action mode, doing what I can while I can. So, tomorrow, before popping into work, I'll be calling all of my insurance companies to start THAT part of the medical roller coaster that is my life right now. C'mon insurance, don't fail me now! Crossing every appendage possible that process won't be as horrendous as I'm anticipating it to be... Here's hoping they do large-print or e-forms.
And last but certainly not least, I began the task of telling my nearest & dearest the news. As soon as the doctor told me, I immediately felt guilty, wondering if I'd done something to cause this by not eating enough fruits & vegetables. I don't know if they were humouring me, but they seemed sincere when they said "No", and that "this type of cancer can happen to anyone" & that "it's just dumb luck who gets it". Telling my mom, aunt & best friend of nearly 30 years was the hardest. Everyone else I just did a mass message on Facebook. Sorry about that, but it was hard enough having this conversation three times, let alone another 70. Hope you all understand.
I also worry about how this will effect my mom, who's already said she'll move in with me during treatment if necessary, but that's going to be so tough on her with her work being on the opposite side of town. :( And my poor best friend... She's still getting over losing her mom to cancer. That just makes me feel even worse. :( Not like there's ever a good time for this kind of thing to happen, but seriously Universe, this is not funny, not funny at all. :/
Well, that's it from me for now... I'll write more when there's either more news or after I've had the aforementioned tests... Cross your fingers for me the next bit of news will be good! I need all the positive energy I can get right now!
*[NOTE: The title of this post was inspired by, yes - you guessed it, Placebo & their album & song of the same name, "Battle for the Sun", one of my favourite albums of all time.]
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
"The Bitter End" - Crashing Back to Reality (Back from the UK)
03/31/15 - So, after spending nearly two amazing & crazy weeks in the UK with friends following our favourite band, Placebo, life came crashing back to reality upon my return home last Thursday! Not only did I come back with a cold & possible food poisoning, I finally got news of my biopsy, which took place today, giving me almost no time to arrange things with work, since my return to work was scheduled for yesterday! In the end, I ended up taking yesterday off due to being up all night with a cough but fortunately I was still able to arrange some last minute vacation time in order to preserve my sick leave, which I'll most certainly be needing in the near future. I also had to get last minute blood work done (yes, MORE blood tests!) the day after returning from overseas, all whilst feeling like death warmed over! Welcome back home to me! :p
I was informed that the procedure I'd be having was a CT-scan-guided biopsy with a recovery time ranging anywhere from two to four hours! Having had a simple biopsy on a mole years ago, where I was in & out in under 30 minutes, the news of a possible four hour recovery time scared the crap out of me! I started to wonder if this biopsy would be very painful during or after. While they did explain this was more of a precaution, as recovery times vary, they failed to mention that this is more so due to whether or not you end up needing sedation. So, in the end, it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd feared it would be! :) All the hospital staff were wonderful, clearly explaining the effects of the procedure, what I could expect & feel at various stages, etc. Yes, there was pain involved, but it was similar to what you feel during blood tests - perhaps slightly worse but not by much. The procedure itself was over in less than an hour. It took longer to GET to the hospital than it did to have the biopsy itself! As for my recovery time, it ended up being two hours, just to ensure I didn't have any reactions to the meds, procedure or excess bleeding. They even gave me breakfast, or rather brunch, since by the time I finally got to eat, it was after 1:00pm! :p
So, as mentioned, this wasn't just a simple biopsy. For those going through something similar, I'll explain in more depth what it entailed, so you have an idea of what to expect. First, no eating or drinking at all four hours before. Period. Not even water! Hence the aforementioned brunch! :) After having me change into a hospital gown, they had me lay on my stomach, on a bed that was hard but curved on the edges & surprisingly comfortable - MUCH more so than the one I experienced during my MRI! They gave me pillows to prop up my head & they elevated my feet so that I was as comfortable as possible. Oxygen was administered, followed by an IV, into which they first injected water & then eventually the dye, which makes you feel REALLY WEIRD! First your limbs feel all hot & then you feel like you're peeing yourself, but in reality you're not, thankfully! :) My chest also felt kind of odd, which worried me a bit, since they did warn me of anaphylactic shock in rare instances. Luckily, this was not the case for me! After a minute or so, things started to calm down internally, and they moved on to injecting the localized freezing. And so queue in the painful bit! It only hurt for about a minute or two, and then I only felt light pressure from that moment on. As they took samples, a clicking sound could be heard, and as they took pictures of the tumour, they all leave the room for a minute & then return. It was over in less than an hour! Then they stuck me in the hallway for a bit where the nurse kept checking up on me, eventually moving me up to recovery for two hours, where I played around on my phone listening to music & chatted with my mom! I do have a bandage I'm required to keep on for two days to avoid infection, and have to be very careful about keeping the area clean. Other than that, I have a bit of irritation & pain when I walk or get up or down from a chair, but it's more than manageable. :)
So now the waiting continues... Todays' procedure was done by a radiologist. Next comes the orthopaedic surgeon. A week from today the waiting will finally be over, and I'll learn whether or not I have cancer. Uhhh...yay? The first thing anyone who's been through serious medical issues like this will tell you, is that waiting in limbo is the worst part... So, at least I'll know... Y'know?
To be continued...
PS - Many, many thanks to my wonderful mom who swapped her days off so that she could support me today.
PPS - I also want to say a huge thank you to Placebo for all their wonderful shows & amazing music! I couldn't have gotten through the past month without it, and words can not express the strength your music & gigs have given to me as I ride this medical roller coaster! While I'm not much for religion, I'm praying to the universe that a miracle comes my way, so that regardless of what happens, I'll be able to make it to your 20th anniversary tour in 2016! *crossing every appendage possible* Much love from one of your many loyal Canadian fans! <3
*[NOTE: The title of this post was inspired by the Placebo track "The Bitter End", which can be found on their 2003 album, "Sleeping With Ghosts".]
I was informed that the procedure I'd be having was a CT-scan-guided biopsy with a recovery time ranging anywhere from two to four hours! Having had a simple biopsy on a mole years ago, where I was in & out in under 30 minutes, the news of a possible four hour recovery time scared the crap out of me! I started to wonder if this biopsy would be very painful during or after. While they did explain this was more of a precaution, as recovery times vary, they failed to mention that this is more so due to whether or not you end up needing sedation. So, in the end, it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd feared it would be! :) All the hospital staff were wonderful, clearly explaining the effects of the procedure, what I could expect & feel at various stages, etc. Yes, there was pain involved, but it was similar to what you feel during blood tests - perhaps slightly worse but not by much. The procedure itself was over in less than an hour. It took longer to GET to the hospital than it did to have the biopsy itself! As for my recovery time, it ended up being two hours, just to ensure I didn't have any reactions to the meds, procedure or excess bleeding. They even gave me breakfast, or rather brunch, since by the time I finally got to eat, it was after 1:00pm! :p
So, as mentioned, this wasn't just a simple biopsy. For those going through something similar, I'll explain in more depth what it entailed, so you have an idea of what to expect. First, no eating or drinking at all four hours before. Period. Not even water! Hence the aforementioned brunch! :) After having me change into a hospital gown, they had me lay on my stomach, on a bed that was hard but curved on the edges & surprisingly comfortable - MUCH more so than the one I experienced during my MRI! They gave me pillows to prop up my head & they elevated my feet so that I was as comfortable as possible. Oxygen was administered, followed by an IV, into which they first injected water & then eventually the dye, which makes you feel REALLY WEIRD! First your limbs feel all hot & then you feel like you're peeing yourself, but in reality you're not, thankfully! :) My chest also felt kind of odd, which worried me a bit, since they did warn me of anaphylactic shock in rare instances. Luckily, this was not the case for me! After a minute or so, things started to calm down internally, and they moved on to injecting the localized freezing. And so queue in the painful bit! It only hurt for about a minute or two, and then I only felt light pressure from that moment on. As they took samples, a clicking sound could be heard, and as they took pictures of the tumour, they all leave the room for a minute & then return. It was over in less than an hour! Then they stuck me in the hallway for a bit where the nurse kept checking up on me, eventually moving me up to recovery for two hours, where I played around on my phone listening to music & chatted with my mom! I do have a bandage I'm required to keep on for two days to avoid infection, and have to be very careful about keeping the area clean. Other than that, I have a bit of irritation & pain when I walk or get up or down from a chair, but it's more than manageable. :)
So now the waiting continues... Todays' procedure was done by a radiologist. Next comes the orthopaedic surgeon. A week from today the waiting will finally be over, and I'll learn whether or not I have cancer. Uhhh...yay? The first thing anyone who's been through serious medical issues like this will tell you, is that waiting in limbo is the worst part... So, at least I'll know... Y'know?
To be continued...
PS - Many, many thanks to my wonderful mom who swapped her days off so that she could support me today.
PPS - I also want to say a huge thank you to Placebo for all their wonderful shows & amazing music! I couldn't have gotten through the past month without it, and words can not express the strength your music & gigs have given to me as I ride this medical roller coaster! While I'm not much for religion, I'm praying to the universe that a miracle comes my way, so that regardless of what happens, I'll be able to make it to your 20th anniversary tour in 2016! *crossing every appendage possible* Much love from one of your many loyal Canadian fans! <3
*[NOTE: The title of this post was inspired by the Placebo track "The Bitter End", which can be found on their 2003 album, "Sleeping With Ghosts".]
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