My visits to the sarcoma clinic are always “interesting”, so last time was no exception! Thanks to construction, we ended up taking a shuttle from the parking lot over to the cancer centre, which just happened to drop us off at the doors where radiation patients go - an entrance I hadn’t used since treatment. Now, I had heard of cancer survivors experiencing flashbacks of emotion during visits to the cancer centre but had never experienced it to this extent until this last visit. Scans are always an emotional time for any cancer survivor, but words cannot express the flood of emotions that rushed in as we walked through the waiting areas & halls of the radiation department. As if that wasn’t enough of a trip down memory lane, we then found ourselves walking through a hallway I hadn’t seen since my surgery to remove my sarcoma two years ago. To say that added to the anxiety was an understatement. On top of all that, for the first time, I had my chest x-ray at the hospital itself the same day instead of in advance offsite, so no peaking at results ahead of time! Between the flashbacks & scanxiety, it was a bit much to take, but I got through it. Fortunately, all my results were clear, so that was a huge relief! On our way out of the hospital, we walked right past the spot where I sat two years ago when I told my mom over the phone, I had cancer. Just one last dose of flashback for good measure, I suppose!
Of course, it wouldn’t be a proper meeting with my oncologist without changing SOMETHING with my scans yet again, LOL, so here is the latest! Per my request, he agreed to reinstate my abdominal ultrasounds (but not the pelvic ones, thank god, since they always had to do an internal one on me!), but he did advise, ultrasounds are not as sensitive as my annual CT scans. However, since we’d been doing them every four months, I wasn’t quite ready emotionally to give them up, so it’s really just for my own sanity that he reinstated them. The second change is due to some increasing pain I’ve had in my sciatic region/surgery area. He’s switching me from annual bone scans to a spinal MRI instead, which I have in just under a month. He said that they’re finding spinal MRIs to be more effective in finding bone mets in the spine. I’ve been doing some reading about spinal mets lately, and the research indicates that spinal mets are one of the most common sites of distant metastasis for myxoid/round cell liposarcoma patients. So, this is a good thing he’s added this to my roster of scans, but of course, since it’s new for me with higher sensitivity, cue in the increased anxiety that they’ll find something the bone scan missed. Sciatic pain asside, many liposarcoma patients with spine mets experience NO PAIN WHATSOEVER, so if your oncologist is only willing to do an MRI if you have symptoms, tell them to think again & insist they order at least one spinal MRI. The only time liposarcoma tumours cause pain is when the tumour presses against a nerve, and this is EXACTLY what happened to me with my first tumour. But to quote a fellow survivor, hopefully it’s just “creakedy old lady back" & nothing more! :)
In other news, after being laid off my job of nearly two decades while in the middle of cancer treatment two years ago, I am finally making some headway & was recently advised I was successful with one of my applications! I am so excited yet so nervous! After being off the hamster wheel for so long, it will be good to get back to some sense of normality. Now let’s just hope my next batch of scans doesn't throw a wrench into things! I busted my backside to get this job, so if my scans mess it up, I will be utterly devastated. And of course, as Murphy’s Law would have it, my favourite band just announced a whole bunch of tour dates, which I probably won’t be able to go to! Despite that, I'm practically having to hide from my computer to avoid buying tickets! Part of me wants to buy tickets just in case the new job falls through, but the other part is resisting the urge, just in case the new job or next batch of scans prevent me from going! Ugh, decisions, decisions! :p #FanGirlProblems! ;)
On a related note, one of the things I’ve missed most since being laid off is being able to help people. When I approached both the Canadian Cancer Society & CNIB to volunteer last summer, I was advised they were both undergoing restructuring & asked to check back in about six months. How ironic is that? I was laid off due to restructuring & turned away from volunteering for the same reason! So, with this year being my second birthday in remission, I decided to take matters into my own hands by raising $200 for charity - $100 for each year in remission! My goal is to achieve this by July 10th, which will hopefully be my second anniversary of being in remission! It’s through Canada Helps (registered charity, BN: 896568417RR0001), and funds will go to The Sarcoma Cancer Foundation of Canada, Wellspring, Humane Society & Canadian Chihuahua Rescue & Transport. By my birthday, I was already at 87% of my goal, so I’m almost there! :)
Another thing I've done to help spread sarcoma awareness is FINALLY purchase one of those sarcoma awareness t-shirts for both myself & my mom! The slogan sums up so well the experience of everyone effected by sarcoma "We don't know how STRONG we are, until being strong is the ONLY choice we have! Sarcoma awareness".
Well, that’s all for now until my next update in July, which will include my next batch of scans - the spinal MRI, abdominal ultrasound & chest x-ray. Also, since there will be no time off for the first few months of my new job, I’m going to see what my oncologist thinks of changing my appointments/scans to every six months. Quite ironic, since I nearly had a stroke during my last appointment when he accidentally thought we were already at six month intervals! Previously, he'd suggested sticking to four-month intervals until the THREE year mark, so you can imagine the panic that set in at the thought of fewer scans at just two years. Since then, I’ve actually come around to the idea, so we shall see what he says!
Thanks for reading! :) If you enjoyed this post, please help spread #SarcomaAwareness by sharing it on Google+, Twitter or Facebook using the buttons below. You can also subscribe to this blog using the links on the left.
Have a sarcoma blog of your own that you'd like linked? Feel free to drop me a line or post your link in a comment below.
Thanks for reading! :) If you enjoyed this post, please help spread #SarcomaAwareness by sharing it on Google+, Twitter or Facebook using the buttons below. You can also subscribe to this blog using the links on the left.
Have a sarcoma blog of your own that you'd like linked? Feel free to drop me a line or post your link in a comment below.
