01/04/18 - 2017 has been filled with much change for me. While it began with great uncertainty & an ever intensifying job search with endless resume edits, workshops & cover letters, I also managed to squeeze some fun into the mix. Besides enjoying time with friends & family, I went on a few epic walks around several local parks & we enjoyed the hottest Summer we’ve had in nearly 100 years! It was also the nation’s 150th birthday, soI feel grateful to have been around to celebrate that!
In May, I began my first ever charity fundraiser in anticipation of my second remission anniversary from sarcoma cancer, raising 87.5% of my goal, thanks to the help of friends, family & CanadaHelps, despite many of them being out of work due to a major recession, which I’m happy to say is finally starting to lift!
The following month, I finally got the break I had been waiting for on the job front when I learned all my hard work on my crazy five-part job application submission was just the right amount of crazy to get me the position, which I started later in the summer. If I never see another resume or cover letter again, it’ll be too soon! Having been away from the workforce for 2.5 years due to my battle with liposarcoma cancer AND being laid off while in the middle of treatment, it was a huge adjustment returning to work, but it’s going well, and I even managed to get two commendations in my first two months! Not bad for this 40-something post-chemo survivor who was nearly 20 years younger the last time she started a new job!
Prior to returning to work, I got the all clear for my July scans! :) Although my spinal MRI did find I have mild scoliosis & spondylosis, at least it’s not bone mets, so I’ll take it! My good luck continued with my November chest x-ray also showing NED (no evidence of disease). *knock on wood*. Next batch of scans are the big ones - annual chest/abdomen/pelvic CT scan & MRI of my leg in February, 2018. I always get a little extra nervous for these two, since there’s always the chance that the CT scan could catch something the x-rays missed, plus with the MRI being annual, a lot can happen in a year. As everysarcoma survivor knows, you hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
Meanwhile, after swearing I would NEVER travel to London alone due to an unrelated disability making navigating new places a big challenge, a moment of sheer insanity took over with the announcement of back to back Placebo gigs at the famous Brixton Academy! But with a mix of absolute panic & elation, I took a leap of faith & bought tickets anyway in hopes I’d find a way for it to work out. And that it did, thanks to the village of international Placebo fans who banded together to help me get safely around London! This last “road trip” was also bitter sweet, as it was evident Brian’s chronic tonsillitis had reached a critical point. It was a miracle he managed to even finish the shows, but he did, and for that I am forever grateful. They even managed to create some very cool alternate melodies that his poor tonsils could work with, some of which I actually liked better than the originals. Such talented artists, they are! Placebo is now the band I've seen the most out of any other. Not bad for the girl who waited 13+ years for them to return to her hometown before taking matters into her own hands! I think I have more than made up for those 13 years! 😂 Their music was a major lifeline during my battle with sarcoma, so I feel very fortunate to have attended so many shows of their 20th anniversary tour. This was such a huge win for the bucket list.
Adding to the year’s theme of chaos, I also had several major home repairs to contend with alongside the stress of returning to work, including major hail damage resulting in the replacement of ALL my home’s siding, a leaking washer, deck & fence painting…AND…after years of saying our summers aren’t long or hot enough to warrant an air conditioner, I finally caved out of necessity. Let’s just say heat-induced sleep deprivation & new job training are NOT a great combo, especially when your post-chemo memory isn’t what it once was.
Needless to say, my assistive technology reviews have taken a seat on the back burner, as I’ve just been too exhausted, stressed or both to do many this year. Despite this, to my shock & amazement, my subscribers have nearly doubled! I started the project a month after finishing five gruellingmonths of post-surgery physio just to see if I could do it despite the challenges of having a disability. Besides keeping me out of trouble while being out of work, it also helped keep my mind off of my cancer. I’ve debated whether or not to keep it going since I’m currently unable to give it the attention it deserves, but you just never know what’s around the corner, so I have decided to continue, even if it just means the occasional update.
Amidst all this, the winds of change grew even stronger as my oldest dog's health suddenly began to decline after YEARS of him always being the healthiest of my dogs. In November, he passed on to the Rainbow Bridge a few months after his 15th birthday & just weeks after my return from the UK. He was my first ever dog, so his loss hit me hard. In fact, losing him was harder than dealing with my own mortality during my battle with sarcoma, as he passed away somewhere between his favourite bed & my arms an hour before the house-call vet was to put him down. A piece of my heart died that night, but I am finally getting to the point where I can remember the good times & focus on the fact he had a good long happy life.
When you witness a loved one die, it changes you. I find myself talking to his urn everyday just to say how much he is missed. I like to think of him as my little fluffy guardian angel, despite being an agnostic atheist. Perhaps I’m more on the agnostic side than I’d like to admit. :) It also brings the point home that nothing lasts forever, and good health or not, cancer or remission, eventually the day will come when each & every one of us is just gone. Just like that, one moment we’re here, the next we’re gone. It’s just so damn final, yet life continues with or without us. Somehow, this experience has given me a strange sense of comfort in facing my own mortality. It just makes me appreciate all the more the time I do have right now while I am still in remission.
Last but not least, after seven wonderful years, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to step away from my bowling family, in order to balance the demands of my many medical appointments alongside my new job. So yeah, the only thing constant this year was change, but I survived, and amazingly so has my other senior dog who just turned 15 after totally beating the odds he was given four years ago! It’s been a crazy year, which I’m sure glad to see the back of! But I am grateful for the little things, because life is short & things can change in an instant. Case in point, our little Facebook group lost another one of our lumpy alumni right around Christmas. She fought the same subtype of liposarcoma as me, but sadly after 15 years of multiple distant mets, she lost the battle. The fact we had the same subtype in the same location, both with clear margins post surgery really makes her passing hit home, knowing I have this ticking time-bomb inside of me that could rear its head at any time when I least expect it. But then I look at my amazing little dog who has totally beaten the odds, and it gives me hope that perhaps I will be one of the lucky 50% who does the same.
Until my next update, here’s to calmer tides for each & every one of us in 2018!
In May, I began my first ever charity fundraiser in anticipation of my second remission anniversary from sarcoma cancer, raising 87.5% of my goal, thanks to the help of friends, family & CanadaHelps, despite many of them being out of work due to a major recession, which I’m happy to say is finally starting to lift!
The following month, I finally got the break I had been waiting for on the job front when I learned all my hard work on my crazy five-part job application submission was just the right amount of crazy to get me the position, which I started later in the summer. If I never see another resume or cover letter again, it’ll be too soon! Having been away from the workforce for 2.5 years due to my battle with liposarcoma cancer AND being laid off while in the middle of treatment, it was a huge adjustment returning to work, but it’s going well, and I even managed to get two commendations in my first two months! Not bad for this 40-something post-chemo survivor who was nearly 20 years younger the last time she started a new job!
Prior to returning to work, I got the all clear for my July scans! :) Although my spinal MRI did find I have mild scoliosis & spondylosis, at least it’s not bone mets, so I’ll take it! My good luck continued with my November chest x-ray also showing NED (no evidence of disease). *knock on wood*. Next batch of scans are the big ones - annual chest/abdomen/pelvic CT scan & MRI of my leg in February, 2018. I always get a little extra nervous for these two, since there’s always the chance that the CT scan could catch something the x-rays missed, plus with the MRI being annual, a lot can happen in a year. As everysarcoma survivor knows, you hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
Meanwhile, after swearing I would NEVER travel to London alone due to an unrelated disability making navigating new places a big challenge, a moment of sheer insanity took over with the announcement of back to back Placebo gigs at the famous Brixton Academy! But with a mix of absolute panic & elation, I took a leap of faith & bought tickets anyway in hopes I’d find a way for it to work out. And that it did, thanks to the village of international Placebo fans who banded together to help me get safely around London! This last “road trip” was also bitter sweet, as it was evident Brian’s chronic tonsillitis had reached a critical point. It was a miracle he managed to even finish the shows, but he did, and for that I am forever grateful. They even managed to create some very cool alternate melodies that his poor tonsils could work with, some of which I actually liked better than the originals. Such talented artists, they are! Placebo is now the band I've seen the most out of any other. Not bad for the girl who waited 13+ years for them to return to her hometown before taking matters into her own hands! I think I have more than made up for those 13 years! 😂 Their music was a major lifeline during my battle with sarcoma, so I feel very fortunate to have attended so many shows of their 20th anniversary tour. This was such a huge win for the bucket list.
Adding to the year’s theme of chaos, I also had several major home repairs to contend with alongside the stress of returning to work, including major hail damage resulting in the replacement of ALL my home’s siding, a leaking washer, deck & fence painting…AND…after years of saying our summers aren’t long or hot enough to warrant an air conditioner, I finally caved out of necessity. Let’s just say heat-induced sleep deprivation & new job training are NOT a great combo, especially when your post-chemo memory isn’t what it once was.
Needless to say, my assistive technology reviews have taken a seat on the back burner, as I’ve just been too exhausted, stressed or both to do many this year. Despite this, to my shock & amazement, my subscribers have nearly doubled! I started the project a month after finishing five gruellingmonths of post-surgery physio just to see if I could do it despite the challenges of having a disability. Besides keeping me out of trouble while being out of work, it also helped keep my mind off of my cancer. I’ve debated whether or not to keep it going since I’m currently unable to give it the attention it deserves, but you just never know what’s around the corner, so I have decided to continue, even if it just means the occasional update.
Amidst all this, the winds of change grew even stronger as my oldest dog's health suddenly began to decline after YEARS of him always being the healthiest of my dogs. In November, he passed on to the Rainbow Bridge a few months after his 15th birthday & just weeks after my return from the UK. He was my first ever dog, so his loss hit me hard. In fact, losing him was harder than dealing with my own mortality during my battle with sarcoma, as he passed away somewhere between his favourite bed & my arms an hour before the house-call vet was to put him down. A piece of my heart died that night, but I am finally getting to the point where I can remember the good times & focus on the fact he had a good long happy life.
When you witness a loved one die, it changes you. I find myself talking to his urn everyday just to say how much he is missed. I like to think of him as my little fluffy guardian angel, despite being an agnostic atheist. Perhaps I’m more on the agnostic side than I’d like to admit. :) It also brings the point home that nothing lasts forever, and good health or not, cancer or remission, eventually the day will come when each & every one of us is just gone. Just like that, one moment we’re here, the next we’re gone. It’s just so damn final, yet life continues with or without us. Somehow, this experience has given me a strange sense of comfort in facing my own mortality. It just makes me appreciate all the more the time I do have right now while I am still in remission.
Last but not least, after seven wonderful years, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to step away from my bowling family, in order to balance the demands of my many medical appointments alongside my new job. So yeah, the only thing constant this year was change, but I survived, and amazingly so has my other senior dog who just turned 15 after totally beating the odds he was given four years ago! It’s been a crazy year, which I’m sure glad to see the back of! But I am grateful for the little things, because life is short & things can change in an instant. Case in point, our little Facebook group lost another one of our lumpy alumni right around Christmas. She fought the same subtype of liposarcoma as me, but sadly after 15 years of multiple distant mets, she lost the battle. The fact we had the same subtype in the same location, both with clear margins post surgery really makes her passing hit home, knowing I have this ticking time-bomb inside of me that could rear its head at any time when I least expect it. But then I look at my amazing little dog who has totally beaten the odds, and it gives me hope that perhaps I will be one of the lucky 50% who does the same.
Until my next update, here’s to calmer tides for each & every one of us in 2018!
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