Update: MRI Results

01/24/17 - Yay!!! Just got my 18 month post-surgery MRI results, which read: "No evidence of residual or recurrent disease"!!!!!!!! It also said although my edema is persistent, it's improved over a year ago, so even more awesome news! Phew! So relieved! Next up as my chest x-ray in March. It was supposed to be February, but today I was informed, they've cancelled all the appointments on the day I was originally scheduled for. Ugh, not exactly thrilled about that, but what a relief it was to read those seven beautiful words! Six more months till I reach that much anticipated two-year mark!

Well, that's the good news, now for the bad news.  It seems my recent trek across the UK has taken its toll, as the report mentions an "Incidental small left knee effusion with mild synovitis", which I assume explains why I constantly feel like I have a sponge in the back & side of my knee but even more so lately. On the bright side, at least mine's not painful, because according to Dr. Google, it often can be. I've been taking it really easy upon my return home, so hopefully it won't get any worse.

Of course, this wouldn't be an update without my local healthcare system driving me crazy (again), so here's the latest! Contrary to my discussion with my oncologist last time, it appears he's axing my ultrasounds altogether, not just for my ovarian cysts, so now I'm only getting an annualCT scan instead of checking for distant metastasis (pelvis/abdomen) every four months. Considering most other major sarcoma centres recommend scanning the abdomen & pelvis every three to four months, I am needless to say not very happy about this, however, at this point, I just don't have the energy to fight. On the bright side, at least I'm still GETTING CT scans. I've read of some UK sarcoma survivors only getting Chest x-rays & no other scans, so it could be much worse. Just to clarify, this is my most up to date surveillance plan, unless of Course they go & change it on me again! Every four months: chest x-ray, annually: MRI (thigh) & CT (chest/abdomen/pelvis). I really wish they'd make up their minds, but oh well! Feeling very grateful for NED (no evidence of disease) & really looking forward to that two-year mark! Five months to go!!!


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"Carve Your Lyrics Into My Arms" - Coping with the Power of Music

01/23/17 - Something strange happened the week preceding my last MRI scan.  Finally, after a year & a half of much debate & stress over how often my MRI’s should be scheduled, I found myself feeling surprisingly relaxed, whereas normally a healthy dose of “scanxiety” would kick in.  Perhaps it was due to the fact I’d just returned from my fangirl trip of a lifetime, or perhaps it was due to the fact I’d been sick for nearly two months & was simply ecstatic to finally be over what I now believe was the RSV virus (a severe respiratory infection, often mistaken for a heavy cold). Whatever the reason, for the first time in the year & a half since this medical rollercoaster began, I just felt calm.  Could it be that I am finally getting the hang of this being a cancer survivor thing?  Even when I learned receipt of my results would be delayed due to the absence of my oncologist’s administrative assistant, I wasn’t phased.  My realistic self rationalized, if there was a problem, they would’ve had somebody else call me into the sarcoma clinic, so surely they must be fine.  Right?  Right!  I hope…

Well, that was all three weeks ago, and alas, it was a good run while it lasted, but now that the assistant is back at work today, I can feel this doubts creeping in ever so slightly, although much less than with previous scans.  I don’t think it’ll ever go away completely if I’m honest, but it’s been nice having that peace of mind.

Meanwhile, my fangirl trip of a lifetime was everything I’d dreamed & more!  The trip was to see my favourite band Placebo for their 20th anniversary tour all over the UK & Ireland, but for me it meant so much more.  Not only have I been a fan of the band for 20 years, there were times during my battle with sarcoma when the only time I felt true comfort was while lost in the music of Placebo.  Even once I progressed to five months of physiotherapy, Placebo was my soundtrack every wobble along the way.  In fact, I still have my Placebo inspiration board up on my elliptical.  In addition to photos of the band from past shows, it also includes a marquee of the band’s name in lights & a photo of me with friends on the barrier at…you guessed it…another Placebo concert!  Long story short, they were instrumental in getting me through one of the most difficult times of my life.  Now not only have I come out the other side, but I made it through the trip that meant so very much to me, and I even got my second chance to meet the man who is positively my most favourite human ever to grace a stage.  As if that wasn’t fantastic enough, he actually remembered me from when we’d met two years earlier, and he remember where I’m from!  Needless to say, I was & still am on cloud nine, and ready to deal with whatever life throws at me.

Now here I am in 2017 still looking for my next big break on the hamster wheel, praying for “NED” (no evidence of disease), and a little uncertain of the future as a result, BUT I am here I made it!  I don’t know what the future holds, but I’ve learned I'm a lot stronger than I ever could’ve thought.

So, now I’m off to bed to try to get some sleep.  Hopefully, I’ll wake up to good news!

01/24/17 - Well, yesterday has come & gone, and the waiting continues…. Waiting, waiting, waiting…always waiting!  *Deep breath*. *Looks down at the Placebo lyrics etched in my skin*…”Breathe, breathe…Believe, believe…"

*NOTE: Title inspired by a line from Placebo's song "Every You Every Me" from Placebo's 1998 album "Without You I'm Nothing".

Thanks for reading! :) If you enjoyed this post, please help spread #SarcomaAwareness by sharing it on Google+, Twitter or Facebook using the buttons below. You can also subscribe to this blog using the links on the left.
Have a sarcoma blog of your own that you'd like linked? Feel free to drop me a line or post your link in a comment below.