07/10/18 - Exactly three years ago today, I had a 25x13x8.7cm round cell/myxoid liposarcoma (MRCLS) cancer tumour removed from my left thigh. Besides leaving a 10” scar, sarcoma forever changes you in ways the eye can’t see. Like many life altering events, there is life before sarcoma & life after. We have a saying in the sarcoma community, sarcoma is a marathon, not a sprint. Over the past three years, there have been times where I wondered if I would ever get to this crucial point. With sarcomas being so rare & many survivors never having met another person with the same sarcoma subtype, the online sarcoma community has become very close knit. Since my diagnosis, several fellow survivors whose journey started out quite like mine have lost the battle due to their MRCLS returning with a vengeance, which makes me all the more grateful to reach three years with NED (no evidence of disease). I still have to be monitored for life, as sarcoma can return many years later (i.e., 7, 8 & even 11 years in some cases), but I take comfort in the fact that many cases of mets (metastasis) occur in the first three years for my subtype, so three years is a huge milestone.
So much has happened since my diagnosis. While in the middle of cancer treatment, I was laid off my job of nearly two decades, which was a bit of a mixed blessing, as it gave me time to heal & process everything. While 2015 was spent recovering physically, 2016 was spent recovering emotionally. Still, the winds of change continued over the past year with the relief & challenge of finally finding a new job, and the heartbreak of losing my two older dogs who passed away five months apart. Throughout all this, some bonds have strengthened while others have been broken. But with mom, my youngest remaining dog & good friends by my side, both new & old, I have come through. :)
To be honest, for the past three years, I have in many ways been waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I refuse to do that anymore. Sure, it’s always at the back of my mind that it could return when I least expect it (there is no blood test & often no symptoms with sarcoma), but something changed in me this year. I don’t know if it was witnessing the passing of my two older fur-babies or just the process of time, but I've decided that life is for the living, so I am going to move forward until the universe decides otherwise. Deciding to get another dog was the first step towards this, and I am so excited to have Molko join our little family later this summer! During the months following my diagnosis, Placebo’s music was the only thing that could take my mind away from it all & give me some kind of peace, so what better way to honour that than by naming my newest fur-baby after the singer whose lyrics mirror my soul. Placebo was also the soundtrack to my five months of physio that followed, when my sole purpose in life was to recover well enough to make it to their 20th anniversary tour! Well, I guess you could say I succeeded & then some, as I just came back from my third trip this tour, three weeks before my third NED anniversary. Seeing my favourite band in a historic city with amazing friends, it doesn’t get much better than that! :)
Next big milestone: 10 years! Better start saving my travel points now! ;) Meanwhile, I'm just happy to graduate to six-month scans (previously every four months)! :)
#SarcomaSurvivor, #SarcomaAwareness, #LifeIsWhatYouMakeIt, #Placebo30
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