"The Bitter End" - Crashing Back to Reality (Back from the UK)

03/31/15 - So, after spending nearly two amazing & crazy weeks in the UK with friends following our favourite band, Placebo, life came crashing back to reality upon my return home last Thursday!  Not only did I come back with a cold & possible food poisoning, I finally got news of my biopsy, which took place today, giving me almost no time to arrange things with work, since my return to work was scheduled for yesterday!  In the end, I ended up taking yesterday off due to being up all night with a cough but fortunately I was still able to arrange some last minute vacation time in order to preserve my sick leave, which I'll most certainly be needing in the near future.  I also had to get last minute blood work done (yes, MORE blood tests!) the day after returning from overseas, all whilst feeling like death warmed over!  Welcome back home to me!  :p

I was informed that the procedure I'd be having was a CT-scan-guided biopsy with a recovery time ranging anywhere from two to four hours!  Having had a simple biopsy on a mole years ago, where I was in & out in under 30 minutes, the news of a possible four hour recovery time scared the crap out of me!  I started to wonder if this biopsy would be very painful during or after.  While they did explain this was more of a precaution, as recovery times vary, they failed to mention that this is more so due to whether or not you end up needing sedation.  So, in the end, it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd feared it would be!  :)  All the hospital staff were wonderful, clearly explaining the effects of the procedure, what I could expect & feel at various stages, etc.  Yes, there was pain involved, but it was similar to what you feel during blood tests - perhaps slightly worse but not by much.  The procedure itself was over in less than an hour.  It took longer to GET to the hospital than it did to have the biopsy itself!  As for my recovery time, it ended up being two hours, just to ensure I didn't have any reactions to the meds, procedure or excess bleeding.  They even gave me breakfast, or rather brunch, since by the time I finally got to eat, it was after 1:00pm! :p

So, as mentioned, this wasn't just a simple biopsy.  For those going through something similar, I'll explain in more depth what it entailed, so you have an idea of  what to expect.  First, no eating or drinking at all four hours before.  Period. Not even water!  Hence the aforementioned brunch!  :)  After having me change into a hospital gown, they had me lay on my stomach, on a bed that was hard but curved on the edges & surprisingly comfortable - MUCH more so than the one I experienced during my MRI!  They gave me pillows to prop up my head & they elevated my feet so that I was as comfortable as possible.  Oxygen was administered, followed by an IV, into which they first injected water & then eventually the dye, which makes you feel REALLY WEIRD!  First your limbs feel all hot & then you feel like you're peeing yourself, but in reality you're not, thankfully!  :)  My chest also felt kind of odd, which worried me a bit, since they did warn me of anaphylactic shock in rare instances.  Luckily, this was not the case for me!  After a minute or so, things started to calm down internally, and they moved on to injecting the localized freezing.  And so queue in the painful bit!  It only hurt for about a minute or two, and then I only felt light pressure from that moment on.  As they took samples, a clicking sound could be heard, and as they took pictures of the tumour, they all leave the room for a minute & then return.  It was over in less than an hour!  Then they stuck me in the hallway for a bit where the nurse kept checking up on me, eventually moving me up to recovery for two hours, where I played around on my phone listening to music & chatted with my mom!  I do have a bandage I'm required to keep on for two days to avoid infection, and have to be very careful about keeping the area clean.  Other than that, I have a bit of irritation & pain when I walk or get up or down from a chair, but it's more than manageable. :)

So now the waiting continues...  Todays' procedure was done by a radiologist.  Next comes the orthopaedic surgeon.  A week from today the waiting will finally be over, and I'll learn whether or not I have cancer.  Uhhh...yay?  The first thing anyone who's been through serious medical issues like this will tell you, is that waiting in limbo is the worst part...  So, at least I'll know...  Y'know?

To be continued...

PS - Many, many thanks to my wonderful mom who swapped her days off so that she could support me today.

PPS - I also want to say a huge thank you to Placebo for all their wonderful shows & amazing music!  I couldn't have gotten through the past month without it, and words can not express the strength your music & gigs have given to me as I ride this medical roller coaster!  While I'm not much for religion, I'm praying to the universe that a miracle comes my way, so that regardless of what happens, I'll be able to make it to your 20th anniversary tour in 2016!  *crossing every appendage possible* Much love from one of your many loyal Canadian fans!  <3

*[NOTE: The title of this post was inspired by the Placebo track "The Bitter End", which can be found on their 2003 album, "Sleeping With Ghosts".]