04/18/15 - After experiencing a roller coaster of emotions throughout the week & some days coping worse than others, I finally picked up the phone to call the Canadian Cancer Society whose website I'd briefly checked out earlier in the week but felt to overwhelmed to really deal with at the time. I'm glad I finally took that baby step. As mentioned in my previous post, they have a peer support program, where they'll do their best to match you not only with someone who's had cancer themselves, but they'll try to match you up with someone who's been through the same kind of cancer you actually have, so that the support you receive will be more specific to your situation. I agreed to call them back once I find out if it's spread or not, as the experience of someone with just a tumour vs someone whose cancer has spread may be quite different.
In addition to the detailed peer support match, I also discovered Cancer Connection, an online support community for cancer patients, also offered by the Canadian Cancer Society. I am really grateful to have found this outlet for support, as it will hopefully mean less leaning on friends & family whenever I'm feeling stressed out & fewer distressed Facebook posts. While I still plan to update this blog, I'm going to try to post less about IT on Facebook, leaving HAPPY stuff for FB & the more serious stuff for my blog & the support site.
Last but not least, although they list a number of options for local places to get wigs (some of which are rather pricy IMHO!), the Canadian Cancer Society themselves actually has a bank of donated wigs AND headscarves, which are FREE of charge & on loan for as long as you need them during your treatment. Note, an appointment is required, so contact your local CCS before heading down for a wig or scarf. They also suggest coming in prior to starting treatment, so that you have them before any hair loss begins.
So, on Tuesday, the day after I get my next batch of results, I'll be going in for my wig & headscarf - no they won't let me dye my wig purple, I already asked, LOL! - and I'll be following up to get that detailed peer support match. After two weeks of trying to deal with with all this on my own with just friends & family for support, I am finally ready to take that next step. While I couldn't have gotten through the past two months without my friends & family, there's only so much they can do, so I'm really looking forward to connecting with others who have &/or are going through the same thing. Something tells me I'll be needing them a lot in the months & possibly years ahead. Unless they've been through cancer themselves, people really have no idea. I've even had people suggest I shouldn't be worried because it's "just a tumour", to which I responded that it could still be a medium to high grade tumour & that this kind of tumour has been known to spread, so shrugging it off as "just a tumour" is much easier said than done!
That being said, I'm finally on the home stretch of the waiting game. Hopefully, in two days, they'll have some serious answers as to what stage Im in, chances of survival, whether it's spread & TREATMENT DATES, so I can make my insurance happy & start moving forward from this limbo I've been stuck in over the past two weeks. This will be my last update till then. I'm off to do my best at imitating a relaxed human as I try to enjoy the rest of the weekend.
PS - One thing I struggled with over the past week is trying to keep my inner "happy" going. Being the realist that I am, this can be quite a challenge at times. But I did manage to succeed here & there, with a few setbacks in-between. The thing to try to do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off & remember that things might seem different in the morning. I also try to find things that make me happy, such as talking to or spending time with a friend, walking my dogs, listening to music or even swooning over pictures of my favourite singer/songwriter for a certain band (three guesses as to who THAT is, LOL!). Point being, try to find things that not only make you happy but that take your mind off things, even if it's just for a while.
[EDIT - 04/19/15] - Found two more great resources. :)
- Liposarcoma Survivors - Facebook group for & by other sarcoma survivors & warriors. By far one of the best resources I've found so far. Just connecting with others who've been through this has taken a huge weight off my shoulders!
- The Sarcoma Alliance - A site made for & by sarcoma survivors & their caregivers. Has some good info on there, re: diet tips for post-radiation, as well as some additional sarcoma info, just a name a few of the good things on there.
*[NOTE: Post title inspired by the Placebo song & album of the same name, Without You I'm Nothing".]
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