This time around, we think the culprit may have been a black fly, which is apparently known to take quite the chunk out of its unsuspecting victims! Well, I’d estimate the micro-attack happened around 10pm. By midnight, my left leg was oozing so much clear liquid, it ran don my leg. By 5am, there was a wide area around the bite that was red & by the following afternoon, my ankle & entire left foot were swollen, and the impact site was still seeping clear liquid! Oh, and blistering. Don’t forget the blistering!
Now, perhaps this is normal for some people, but not for me! Even when I’ve been stung, I’ve never had a reaction this severe, which leads me to wonder if my immune system is now super sensitive to certain bug bites post-chemo. After all, the whole reason my surgery is taking place eight weeks after my pre-radiation chemo is to avoid complications with wound healing. Not wanting to take any chances, I decided to call Health Link, who suggested I have a doctor look at it. So, off to a walk-in clinic we went, expecting to simply be prescribed oral antibiotics. In hindsight, Health Link actually suggested I see my family doctor if possible, but that would’ve delayed things by a few days at least, so I opted for the walk-in. Big mistake! As soon as the physician heard the “C” word, he was clearly out of his comfort zone, and before we knew it, we were being referred to EMERGENCY! Yes, Emergency….for a bug bite - albeit, a bug bite from hell, but nevertheless, a bug bite!!! His reasoning was that they may want to do an ultrasound & put me on IV-antibiotics, which he explained would work faster, so that I could get this cleared up in time for my surgery.
So, into the vortex of the hospital from hell, we went! Eight hours later, we emerged with stories of Buzz Lightyear & Pirate Porkchop, courtesy of a mom reading to her son across the waiting area, yet more tests and….drum roll please…ORAL ANTIBIOTICS with NO IV in sight!!! The emergency doctor said that in this case, IV antibiotics wouldn’t have made a difference time-wise. And after all that, they weren’t really sure if this was my system being hyper sensitive to the bite or in fact a skin infection. By contrast, the clinic doctor who sent us into a galaxy far, far away, actually went so far to suggest it was a cellulitis, a rapidly spreading skin infection! But they said we did the right thing, having it looked at quickly, as I do have to be careful being post-chemo & with surgery less than two weeks away. The frustrating thing is, next time, I’ll think twice about going to a clinic or emergency & just wait however many days to see my family doctor. Watch, that’ll be the time they’ll tell me I should’ve gone to emergency! :p Four days of antibiotics every six hours later, it is slowly improving. Hopefully, it won’t impact my surgery, which is now eight days away. It’s still pretty red & swollen but it’s better than it was.
Meanwhile, earlier in the week, I got a hold of all my medical reports available to date, as I needed them for insurance purposes. Now, remember those MRI images on CD from February I never should have looked at? Queue in the deja-vu! I really shouldn’t have read my reports either but just couldn’t resist. In addition to the nodules I already knew about on my spine & ovary, they also discovered one on my intestine. I don’t even recall them mentioning my intestine, so that totally threw me for a loop! And then came this gem: “We are unsure of their significance….Although we are not formally classifying them as metastasis at this time, we have chosen to follow them”. In a nutshell, they have no idea if it’s spread, so they’re playing the wait & see game. Fast forward now to late June, where the tests reveal the same nodule on my spine but no mention of the nodule on my intestine. They didn’t bother to check my ovary, since my ultrasound couldn’t find anything back in April. However, I now have a new nodule that wasn’t there before on my thyroid & the word lesion came up, and yet still, they’re unsure if its significance, saying “There is no evidence of definite metastasis, which to me means, they have no idea at this point! Still, with nodules on my spine, intestine, ovary & now thyroid, I’m needless to say, a bit worried. Hopefully, my oncologist will clarify everything next week when we meet before my surgery. The good news is, the alien hasn’t grown, but it’s a bit bigger than I was initially led to believe. It turns out, it’s actually 25x13x8.7cm.
As if starring in my own personal episode of When Bugs & Aliens Attack wasn’t enough, there’s MORE! After nearly two decades with the same company, I learned I’ll be out of a job once my medical eave is done, as the department I work in has permanently closed! Seriously, Universe, what ARE you trying to do to me?!?! Enough already! Fortunately, they’re allowing me to continue my current medical leave for as long as necessary. Once recovered from surgery, my severance pay & benefits package will last about a year. Thank god, because finding a job when you already have a disability is hard enough. Add in the additional complication of cancer scans every three months for the next two years & every six months for the five years following that, and well, let’s just say searching for work could be quite a challenge. Grateful yet terrified pretty much describes how I am feeling these days! Anyone know of a good Canadian insurance company that’ accepts cancer patients & survivors??? Trying my best not to panic. Hopefully his chapter's end will open doors to something better & much more inspiring, a job that i can be proud of rather than being just a paycheque.
They say things happen for a reason, and sometimes I wonder if there just might be something to that. A week before all hell broke loose job-wise, I began attending the Visualization & Relaxation sessions at Wellspring, and boy are they coming in handy! Tried my first self-guided meditation last night while out on my deck, alongside the soothing lullabies of my water features. I fell asleep! D’ya think it worked? ;)
Eight days till the alien gets evicted from my leg!
"I, I, I, will battle for the sun, sun, sun.
And I, I, I wont stop until I'm done, done, done.
You, you, you are getting in the way, way, way.
And I, I, I have nothing left to say, say, say.
I, I, I, I, I will brush off all the dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt.
And I, I, I, I, I will pretend it didn't hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt.
You, you, you, you, you, are a black and heavy weight, weight, weight, weight, weight, weight, weight.
And I, I, I, I, I, will not participate, pate, pate, pate, pate, pate, pate.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
I, I, I will battle for the sun, sun, sun, sun.
Cause I, I, I, have stared down the barrel of a gun, gun, gun, gun, gun, gun, gun. No fun!
You, you, you, you, you are a cheap and nasty fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake.
And I, I, I, I, I am the bones you couldn’t break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break!
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
Dream brother, my killer, my lover.
I, I, I will battle for the sun.”
- “Battle for the Sun” by Placebo
*[NOTE - Post title also inspired by Placebo’s song “Battle for the Sun”, which can be found on their 2009 album of the same name.]
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